Boned by Fox Television!

I thought I'd been booked for three days on Bones second unit (and jumped off of the Fast and Furious 3 rig because I thought I'd make more money this way), only to have production cancel today's shoot late last night.

Damn. I turned down other work because I thought I was booked, and they cancelled so late at night that there was no way for me to pick up any work for today.

I really, really hate it when that happens.

How about The Slow and Slightly Miffed?

Somehow the dirtiest locations always look so innocent.

For the past two days, I've been wrapping a location on Fast and Furious 3.

A parking garage in a mall that's been closed for 10 years. How dirty could it be?

Really dirty. There was a fine film of black dust everywhere. We were pulling cable* through it all day (not to mention the Gators - which we were using to drive stuff back to the staging area - kicking up a dust storm every time they drove by). By lunchtime, the dust had coated us from head to toe, making us look like derelicts.

They were shooting car stunts in this location, so every now and then we'd find something that fell off one of the cars they were driving. A bumper, a headlight, part of a blown tire - all covered in dust, of course. Where the hell was it coming from?

On the way home last night, I stopped at the grocery store, where people tried not to look at me as I walked past in case I did something crazy. I saw one woman start to push her cart down the aisle I was standing in - then she saw me and backed up as quickly as she could.

What I really want to do when this happens is grab them by the lapels, shake them and yell "I'm a responsible tax-paying citizen just like you, motherfucker!"

What I actually do is sigh heavily, purchase whatever it is that I came in for, go home and shower - after which I look (and feel) solidly middle class again.



*heavy cable is wrapped by pulling it towards you into a coil at your feet, hence the term 'pulling cable'.

Oh, Crap!

I forgot it was Halloween tonight, and didn't get any candy on the way home from work.

Of course, I got ambushed as I tried to get from the car to the front door (I almost made it, too).

"Trick or Treeeeet!" yelled a fairy princess (I think she was a fairy princess - she could have also been Prom Night Barbie with a plastic scepter or a slutty party-going socialite with a misshapen golf club). "Give me something good to eat!"

I rummaged through my paper bag of take-out sushi (some nights I'm too tired even to open a can), trying to stall for time.

"Um.. let me see here... what do I have... You can have a salmon roll or... Miso soup! Yum!"

Dammit, why don't they give you fortune cookies in Japanese restaurants? I could have made a run for it while she was distracted.

"MOMMY! She's trying to give me food that's not in plastic! And sounds yucky!"

Aw, fuck.

Mommy said "Leave the nice lady alone, honey", but still glared at me as she hustled the kids past, and kept shooting me dirty looks until I slunk into the house.

So I guess now I'm the weirdo that tried to give a kid sushi on Halloween.

I should have offered her my wire-strippers. Or a cube tap.