Despite the performance of your last movie, you're still one of the most powerful men in Hollywood.
Therefore, I'm sure you have a girlfriend. Why don't you let her dress you?
When two grips and an electrician (all women - I was the redhead who spewed pasta and barely missed the Local 80* Goddess seated across from me. Just so you know, we were laughing at you, not with you) point at you and break into hysterics as you walk past, it's high time for a closet cleanout.
You're not a bad looking guy. Really, you're not. You have a terrific smile and you're more than a little sexy. Were it not for the heinous jeans and moldy tennis shoes, I'd do you in a heartbeat - but you really do need to update your look.
Please. I'm begging you.
The Goddess (who's been on location in Australia where the men dress like crap, and yet she still laughed at you) will even consider speaking to you in less than insulting tones if only you'll dress like less of a retard in the future.
*It's customary to refer to departments by the local number. Grip is Local 80. Set Lighting is Local 728. Camera is Local 600. While this may seem like jibberish, standing in the middle of the set and yelling "seven twenty eight" will result in all the electricians turning our heads and saying "What?".