Friday, September 09, 2005

Dr. Evil

The lot manager at Hollywood Center is a fat, ill-tempered bald guy with a dent in his head who rides around on a Segway.

The grips have nicknamed him Dr. Evil.

Everything we use has to be safety rated - electrical equipment has to be UL-rated, and grip equipment has to be OSHA approved and given a weight rating (if the chain holds 1100 lbs, but the bolt holding the chain is rated at 300 lbs, then the ENTIRE rig must be weight-rated at 300 lbs. This is to minimize the risk of deaths/injuries from preventable equipment failure. Items which do not have a weight rating may not be used on sets to hang equipment over the heads of innocent people).

When hanging pipe grids, the chains holding up the grids are hung from these things that look like square hooks. They're hardened steel, and they are specially designed to hook over the wooden beams of the perms.


Dr. Evil wanted the grips to just use chain - wrapped around the beam and secured with an "S hook". The grips refused (rightly so, as this is horribly unsafe), and there was a huge fight.

S-hooks aren't OSHA approved, nor are they weight-rated (wrapping chain around the beams isn't really all that safe, either). Dr. Evil wouldn't back down, so the grips had to get their union rep out, who apparently had quite the dust-up with Dr. Evil in the office.

Dr. Evil, in the end, gave in but made the production company buy the proper equipment - which Hollywood Center should have had on hand in the first place.

Today, at lunch, one of the grips told us how Dr. Evil got the dent in his head.

The grip told us that once upon a time, Dr. Evil climbed onto the roof of a stage to turn off a light because he was afraid that if he left it on, it would start a fire.*

Because he was unable to turn the light off by conventional means, he decided to break the light bulb**

Since he broke the light bulb, he had to climb down off the roof in the dark, fell, and dented his head when he landed.

I don't know how true it is, but it's a damn good story.

* Lights generally do not start fires. Most electrical fires are wiring related. In our case, we overamp cable and the connectors burn. While alarming to bystanders, even this is really more funny than dangerous.
Okay, it's dangerous. But still very, very funny.

**I refuse to believe that anyone is that stupid. Even Dr. Evil.

1 comment:

DMX512 said...

I have been in this biz 10 fun years. I have only raised my voice and refered to a person as "worthless" to their face one time in those 10 years. It was that fat, bald Segway riding, waste of a life. If you ever work at Hollywood Center you will know that it is a huge, I mean huge lot! You can't walk it if you work there! You must get a two wheeled ass-fat waggon with gyro's to lump your gash ingrossed head around. This tards got something to haul his fat ass around a lot that is not even the size of Univeral's lamp dock. And I quote him - "You can't have dimmer packs outside! Are you out of you mind?!!" Me - "There are under an Easy-up and covered with Bag-its at the end of the night." Him - "I don't fucking care! Someone could get electrocuted if it rains! And this is Paladin gear! You can't just leave it out!!!" Interesting side note at this point. Most Paladin gear would work better if let in the rain...uncovered...and dropped... Me - "Where the hell should I put the racks then?" FBF (Fat Bald Fuck)- "On the other side of the stage there is a inclosed place!" Me - "Well had you been here 8 hours ago to tell me that when we were rigging it, we would have." FBF - "It moves or I'm shutting you down." Me - "Fine. We will move it."
Yep. Because as much as a prick as he is, as a Best Boy, I am going to lose in the long run. That's why he has that job. For that short but sweet breath of power. Ever watched a kid stomp an anthill? Wait 30 years. You will find that kid again riding around on two wheels trying to get revenge on his high school bullys. Roll on little man....roll on...

Side note - During this rant, the desire to call him a retard came up. I then realized that there were a few developmentally disabled classmates whom had attened my high school back in the day. To refer to him as a "retard" would actally dishonor them.