Saturday, August 27, 2005

Breaking up is(n't) hard to do.

Mr. Movie Star and I officially called it quits today.

I gave up part of my weekend to help with a rig (an 'eight and skate' hardly feels like a day of work at all anymore), and happened to be on the same lot lot as the movie he's doing, so I swung by to see him, since we've not actually been in the same room at the same time in weeks.

As breakups go, this one was pretty painless. I'd seen it coming for a while now.. the phone calls have been petering off, the coversations getting shorter - out of sight, out of mind.

He says he's not dating anyone else, but just feels like neither one of us have the time to be dating anyone.

This is just what happens, and no, I'm not angry at him. I'm kind of bummed - but not angry.

This is par for the course in the film industry, with it's 12+ hour days and routine 6 day weeks.

Those hours ruin a lot of relationships. Crew members who haven't been divorced at least once are rare, and multiple divorces are common - and that's marriages. I sort of feel like trying to date at all is hopeless, due to the entertainment industry catch-22: if you date someone who's not in the film industry (a 'civilian'), they freak out about the hours and dump you, and if you date someone who is in the industry, you split up because you never see each other.

Okay, I lied. I'm sad and pissed off.

The fact is that I really liked Mr. Movie Star, and had hoped that this would last for a long time.. Now I'm back to being afraid of dying alone because my fucking job eats my life.


jpcardier said...

Hey Peggy,

I just wanted to post to extend my condolences. I love reading your blog for the view from the union crew. My wife is an FX artist, and mainly works low budget stuff on set.

When she's working set, the hours are often brutal. It becomes a challenge just to converse. Even when shes just in a FX shop, she routinely does a 50-70 week.

Just remember: The odds may be against you, but you are an individual, not a statistic. Finding someone who understands the demands of the industry isn't impossible. Good luck. Love the blog.

Jean-Paul Cardier

Christopher Boffoli said...

Peggy: Very sorry to hear about this. Hope you're hanging in there. I'm at least glad to hear you weren't surprised. That's the worst. Break-ups are hard enough. It sucks to walk away from all of the equity and time you invested in the relationship. I obviously don't know you from Adam (other than loving to read your blog), but a few things seem to be clear. You're obviously a hottie as you were able to hook up with Mr. Movie Star in the first place. But your advantage is that you're not just the plastic kind of Hollywood, dime-a-dozen hottie. You're clearly really smart and you kick ass on a daily basis. Seems to me that's a pretty formidable combination. Conclusion: You're money so it's all good. You've got another relationship under your belt which is more experience to refer to when you're ready for the next one. The pain will go away eventually. So just chalk it up to gladly surpassed time.

Norman said...

Relationships are the hardest things in the world -- harder even then working for Joel Silver. But they all work in their own mysterious ways.

For the first three years of my relationship with my now wife, we were in different cities about half of the time. I'm not saying that this made it easier to keep going, but it did mean that our lives felt newer more often... somehow. Of course, that changes over time and now we've been together 25 years. Not always perfectly, not always happily, but (overall) very wonderfully.

So, it CAN happen. It's just (see above) hard work.

Peggy Archer said...

Thanks for the kind words, everybody!

AJ Gentile said...

Hang in there, kid. Lightning will strike when you least expect it.

(Let's just hope it's not when you're running 220 to the set)

Catherine said...

Ah shit, I'm sorry. :( Hang in there, as hard as you work, you'll probably have trouble remembering his name in another month!

Anonymous said...

Very sorry to hear about your break-up.

Try to keep smiling and believing that the right one is out there waiting for you.

TiffyMama said...

Sorry about the break up....I was actually a bit shocked when I started reading your blog...I worked in film for about a year and my soon to be hubby didn't like the hours at all, so I quit my dream job and moved to CT. I can totally relate...just keep doing what you like doing and don't give it up for no one. Keep your chin up. :)

Piers said...


I just came over here from DISContent via a comment you left there, read a couple of posts, and started reading from the beginning, 'cos I like your style.

So I've been following the dating. And I know this is all over for you, and has been for a long time, but I'm really sorry. I was hoping this one was going to work out.

Still... dammit.